Divine Ethics Part 6: The Jewish Approach to Repentance

The mitzvah of teshuva (repentance) is a part of the preparation for the high holiday season and it’s also an important aspect of study for mitzvot bein adam l’chavero, commandments related to interpersonal relationships. Teshuva means that one has the capacity to change one’s past and redirect themselves to the proper path. It seems counterintuitive: if God gives free will and teaches us to choose good over evil and if we understand that there are consequences to our actions—reward for good actions and punishment for bad—then why is there still a possibility of teshuva? We should accept the just punishment as a consequence for our actions.

But the Torah says that God out of His great compassion offered us a second chance, a mechanism for fixing our past indiscretions and returning us to a better path. We can even change our past, turning our sins into neutral actions, if we follow the process. That process consists of acknowledging the sin, accepting upon us to not sin again with sincerity and ideally to be in the same situation and avoid sinning. This way we redeem ourselves and reset our relationship with God.

God Does Not Forgive Us if We Do Not Ask Forgiveness From Others

But there is one exception to this process. God forgives all sins we perpetrate against Him through our undergoing teshuva, but not the sins we do against fellow humans. If we wrong someone, lie to them, steal from them, hurt them, make fun of them, we cannot simply stand before God, hit our hearts and resolve to never sin again. Doesn’t work! Instead we must ask forgiveness from each individual whom we wronged.

Teshuva doesn’t work when we don’t put in the time and effort to right a wrong we committed against our friends, our family or our acquaintance. God expects us to confront our neighbor and confess our sins to them asking for forgiveness. Halacha demands from us that if someone truly and sincerely asks for our forgiveness that we provide it for that is what God would do and we attempt to walk in His path.

Teshuva gives us a free path to change our past in terms of our relationship with God; in terms of our interpersonal relationships, however, we must ask for forgiveness and revive our friendship with them, hopefully making it even stronger than before.